You are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living An Awesome Life
I recently went on a 9 hour road trip and randomly chose this book by Jen Sincero on audible to listen to and hopefully make the drive go by faster. I love listening to inspiring personal development books on long commutes because they give me plenty of time to reflect and not pay attention to annoying traffic. It’s a win win situation. I was so taken aback by how EXCITED this random book that I thought would give me a few new tools for success made me feel!
The author had us dive right in to our deeply ingrained beliefs that are holding us back from success. These beliefs may be hidden in our subconscious, or might present themselves on the regular. I knew as a therapist that we are sponges as we grow up and take in all the messages around us-good and bad. We carry them with us into adulthood like protective armor. Even the beliefs that are actually inhibiting us or detrimental to our well-being, we cling to fiercely. Why is that?
These beliefs are all we know and we’ve been subscribing to them for years and years. It’s hard to let them go. Anyone who has tried a new diet, workout regiment or tried to kick a bad habit understands that. It’s really freaking hard to create new habits, new thoughts and new behaviors. It takes time, effort, motivation and consistency. Same goes for ingrained beliefs. Here is the beauty-If our old stories or beliefs are no longer serving us and we make the choice that we’re ready to challenge them, then we have all the power we need. We can rewrite them.
As Jen so eloquently puts it, All this is to say it’s not your fault you’re fucked up. It’s your fault if you stay fucked up…”
She believes our subconscious mind is running the show. So, we can make all the conscious decisions we want to change our lives, but they won’t have a major impact if we don’t address the root of our problems.
She gives this great example of a girl longing to meet her soulmate, but who has deep seated beliefs that intimacy causes suffering. She may not even realize this (or be willing to face it). Her finger will remain ringless until she deals with her issues surrounding intimacy.
Jen gives a lot of scenarios related to finances. I had some major insights in response to how I view money and my not always healthy spending habits. I think I may need to read her second book, You are a Badass at Making Money.
She goes on to share tools to save us from ourselves, starting with the Law of Attraction, or the idea that we are constantly attracting energy to ourselves-positive and negative. If you in a low frequency place (depressed, jealous, victimized, worried, needy, pessimistic) you will attract more negative things into your life. You need to raise your vibration (aka work on feeling happier, hopeful, optimistic, joyful) in order to attract all the wonderful things you dream of into your life. Here is the hard part-maintaining this positive outlook even when things feel hopeless or like complete crap.
This is about your faith being greater than your fear.
Even if you think this is complete BS, isn’t it more fun (and productive) to operate from a place of optimism, anyways? So, if good things come your way because of it, well, that’s just a “beautiful coincidence”.
“If you want to find the secrets of the Universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.” -Nikola Tesla, inventor, physicist and supergenius
I love that she makes this differentiation-we need positive energy and hell bent action to achieve our goals. We can’t just float around in our neighbors pool waiting for unicorns to fly down from the sky.
She emphasizes the importance of self love, being present in the moment, gratitude and changing your thoughts all in her sarcastic and funny way. There are also some hard hitting points on procrastination, feeling overwhelmed and dealing with fear. These were big take always for me.
Procrastination is one of the most popular forms of self sabotage because it’s really easy. I never looked at procrastination this way, but isn’t it the hard truth? I know I’ve fallen into this trap and took the easy way out many times.
Remember that done is better than perfect. I work with quite a few clients whose perfectionism has become toxic. It inhibits them from believing they are good enough and it stops them from completing or attempting task. When they do work on something, it may take hours. Jen’s philosophy is so simple, yet so true.
I won’t give you anymore spoilers because I really think you should read this and see what you take away. I know this book will be my mantra for 2018! Would love to chat about any insights or comments! xx