Q: I’ve been single for the past 2 years and am really tired of the bar scene to try to meet dates. My friends keep pushing online dating, but I feel like it’s kind of creepy and superficial, but I’m getting desperate. Should I try it?
A: The bar scene can definitely get old quickly. Online dating has it’s perks and its drawbacks. It allows you to have access to a ton of different people. This is amazing because you can meet potential dates you might not normally have the opportunity to. With that comes a major drawback-you have to filter through the weirdos to find the hidden gems. Don’t delete your profile, just yet! 20% of current committed relationships began online, according to eharmony. We’ve all got a friend, cousin or cousin’s friend who met their husband online, right? It’s going to be adventure, that’s for certain, but the reward may outweigh the negatives. And even if you don’t meet Mr Right, you’ll grow as a person, get closer to figuring out what kind of partner you really want and you’ll have some great stories to share with your girls. If anything, it’s going to be an adventure.
ONLINE DATING 101
Be prepared for a lot of messaging. Some girls love texting back and forth with potential dates to start building rapport. If you’d rather not waste the time, be a little more to the point with setting up a date to see if there is chemistry face to face.
Creepers and Ghosts, Oh My!
Sure, some guys are going be complete jerks and come on waaaay too aggressively. Others will seem really sweet and charming and then all of sudden-Poof-they disappear. Don’t waste too much time or energy if this happens. Honestly, you have no idea why he ghosted you. Maybe he got back together with an ex, maybe he met someone else, maybe he’s in the CIA and got called on assignment. 😉 It sucks, but he wasn’t right, so keep looking forward. Great thing is you can pretty quickly weed out the creepers and ghosts. Don’t let them put a damper on your dating search. Just know it’s part of the process.
Change It Up
Have an idea of what your ideal match’s qualities are, just don’t be bound to them. Just because he doesn’t fit into all 10 of your ideal categories, give him a chance. Chemistry is a funny thing-you might feel sparks with someone you never would have thought. Be open minded and say yes to that coffee date.
As cliche as this sounds, just be yourself. Don’t try to make your profile, messages or even your dating behavior someone you’re not. I think we get so caught up in trying to play a role-to be the funny girl or the mysterious girl. In reality, if that’s not you, it just all falls to pieces. Take the pressure off and just be your authentic self.
Be Real About Your Intentions
If you’re looking for something serious, let them know. Ok, maybe not on the first date, but sooner than later. I definitely made this mistake while dating. I would act like I was carefree and not looking for a big commitment because I thought that would scare them off. What I didn’t realize is I was actually sabotaging my relationships because I wasn’t being honest about. And if you’re not looking for anything serious, let them know that, too.
Don’t Take It Too Serious
If you get to your date and realize he totally fibbed about his height and hairline, who cares? Have a few laughs, some good conversation and call it a night. Even if he’s not your soulmate, try to enjoy the journey…with a few cocktails along the way.