One and Done – A guy who puts on a very convincing act of charm and interest that quickly fades after an intimate encounter.
Q: Hey advice needed, so basically there’s this guy who I’ve had a crush on for a while, he’s a bit older then me- I’m 19 & he’s 26. Our families are friends and he’s always looking out for me. Last weekend I ended up going to a house party and we were both really drunk and had sex. We haven’t spoken since. Feel like he’s avoiding me, I got a message from him yesterday asking if I can keep it to a minimum as his ex girlfriend has found out and is giving him grief for it. I’m going to be at a charity event this weekend & he’s going to be there. I’m embarrassed and don’t know how to act like. Feel like everyone’s going to be talking about me. What do I do when I see him?
A: Oh girl, sorry you have to go through this. It can be really tricky figuring out what a guys intentions are. If he was a family friend and “always looking out for you,” I understand how you thought he was a good guy and potential dating material. Have to be honest- a big red flag for me is the age difference. 7 years can make a huge difference when you’re a teen and he’s had 7 more years to experience adult life i his 20’s. Another glaring flag is that you two hooked up drunk at a party. Not the best way to start a relationship cause you don’t really know each other’s intentions. But, now you know his. He’s made it pretty clear. You obviously have feelings about what has gone down. Don’t push your emotions down and suppress them because if you do, they will eventually come out and more than likely in an explosive fourth of July kind of way. A charity event just doesn’t seem like the appropriate spot for a full on drama fest. So, text or call him before this weekend and say exactly what you feel. If you feel like he is a POS, say it. Get it all out in the open so you can have closure. Then, when you see him at the event, hold your head high. Sure, it might be awkward, but it’s only temporary. Try to bring a friend for support.
You said you’re worried that everyone is going to be talking about you. No need to feel embarrassed, you’re not the first girl to make a mistake and you won’t be the last. And it takes two to tango. You both made the choice to hook up, even if it was an altered choice. You may still have to see him at future events-it’s okay, he’ll just be a lesson that’s gonna help you the next time you’re crushing on a guy.